Tiger Woods Fist Pump

More Asinine Predictions!

2011-11-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

My predictions so far this year have been laugh out loud wrong. Rams going to the NFC Championship? Chargers winning the Super Bowl? The Vikings 8-8? Yeah, no. Naturally, that means I should do more useless non-forecasting... Prediction #1 - Bengals Make The AFC Title Game Every year there's a team that's not nearly as good as their record reflects because of an easy schedule. That was the

Christian Ponder On Third Down

2011-10-31T09:59:00.000-07:00

In the interest of continuity, I want to continue the third down stat analysis I had going with Donovan McNabb to see if there would be some marked improvement from Christian Ponder. Yeah I know it's only two games, but I can't help myself. Note: This is only counting his two starts, not garbage time against the Bears. vs. Green Bay 3-7-GB44 (4:25) (Shotgun) C.Ponder pass incomplete

Why McNabb Ultimately Failed

2011-10-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a look at every single throw Donovan McNabb made on a third down this season. The summaries are in bold if you want to skip the mundane play-by-play stuff (courtesy of CBSSports.com). Note: "Short" indicates a pass that traveled less than 10 yards in the air. "Deep" indicates more than 10 yards in the air. at San Diego 1st quarter, 3-9-MIN35 (9:51) (Shotgun) D.McNabb pass short

Random 2011 NFL Thoughts

2011-09-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

To get it out of the way, here's how it'll break down. (No, I haven't calculated win-loss totals to reflect accuracy, this is just a general idea of how I think teams will fare.) NFC North Green Bay Packers, 10-6 *Minnesota Vikings, 9-7 Detroit Lions 6-10 Chicago Bears 5-11 NFC East Dallas Cowboys, 10-6 Philadelphia Eagles, 7-9 New York Giants, 7-9 Washington Redskins, 6-10 NFC South New

Randy Moss

2011-08-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

Not much to say about possibly my favorite player ever retiring, other than I could've sworn he actually retired last year. I just wanted to post some highlights, how I remember him best... (Warning: the audio on these is really shitty and LOUD, so you'll probably want to keep your volume down) Touchdown #1 vs. Dallas, Thanksgiving '98 Touchdown #2 vs. Dallas, Thanksgiving '98 - "Hey dawg,

McNabb

2011-07-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

Anyone familiar with Sports Illustrated senior writer Joe Posnanski knows that if he's writing something about someone he doesn't think highly of, he starts the piece off with, "I like (whoever it is)." I'm about to do the opposite. I don't like Donovan McNabb. Granted, I think he's had a pretty good career, an above average player who was "elite" over a couple of stretches. He was my starting

Calm Down Already

2011-04-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, picking Christian Ponder 12th overall is ridiculous. Absurd. A massive reach. And I'm mostly okay with it. That's what scares me the most about this pick, really. Every Vikings fan seems to be so eager to be pissed off and rage about how they didn't trade down (no one called, because evidently there was no one to trade up FOR) or why they didn't pick Amukamura (he fell all the way to 19 so

Sticking Up for Joe Buck

2011-01-26T11:08:00.000-08:00

In this column, I am going to attempt to do the unthinkable. More outrageous than Julian Assange having the balls to post secret US diplomatic cables. More improbable than Rex Ryan agreeing to a vow of silence. More unthinkable than Mike McCarthy successfully managing the clock on a 2-minute drill. I am going to defend Joe Buck. To a certain extent anyway. It seems most people have reached

Friday Night Third-String QB: Cliffhanger

2010-12-31T11:37:00.000-08:00

Reason #1A why I'd be a horrible columnist/beat writer/anything to do with writing professionally: I tend to check out once in a while. Like, this season for instance, which has been so utterly insane that all I've been able to do is just sort of stare wide-eyed with my mouth half open, kind of like Mike McCarthy trying to decipher whether or not he should call a timeout. Even now I'm at a loss

Hooray!

2010-11-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

So Childress is gone, now what? Leslie Frazier's the interim coach, which should silence the "We can't let another Dungy/Billick/Tomlin go!" crowd. And you can bet the "interim" label isn't going to last long, considering... - Zygi has to pay out Childress's extension, handicapping his ability to dole out more millions for Bill Cowher, Jon Gruden and the like. - A brand new coach would

Effort

2010-11-08T06:38:00.000-08:00

Your job has sucked so far this year. You are buried in work and everyone is slagging you. Nobody is cutting you any slack. Your company keeps losing out on every break, on every deal. The writing appears to be on the wall. Your boss has put all his eggs in one basket by trusting an old, way past his prime guy to lead your company to glory, hoping against hope that lightning strikes twice.

Pros and Cons of a 2-5 Team

2010-11-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

PRO Maybe Tarvaris will start. As he showed in garbage time yesterday, he can actually move. That 20 yard scramble was so foreign to me I thought Percy Harvin had to switch jerseys for some reason. CON He's still Tarvaris Jackson. If Tarvaris was ever even a decent option, why beg for Favre? Why were Vikings fans clamoring for him before the 2009 season? Are people's memories that short?

Bench Favre? Makes No Difference

2010-10-25T08:12:00.000-07:00

So, bench Favre? Yes or no? The most popular quarterback in Minnesota is always the backup. See also: Wade Wilson in the late 80s. Rich Gannon in the early 90s. Brad Johnson in the mid 90s. Jeff George in the late 90s. Gus Frerotte in the mid 00s. Right now Tarvaris Jackson jersey sales are probably up. Now, I believe having Tar-Jack come in the middle of the game and starting Tar-Jack

Sunday Night Third-String QB: Spotting Frauds With Robocop 2

2010-10-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

"Robocop 2" is an interesting movie. It's directed by Irv Kirschner, famous for doing such a fantastic job with "Empire Strikes Back." The first installment was a fun and a legitimately good movie, and a lot of the same special effects guys, designers and makeup artists are back. There was a lot to look forward to. The first 20 minutes or so start out surprisingly touching, as Robocop deals

Your 2006 Minnesota Vikings!

2010-10-12T07:11:00.000-07:00

Are we sure that's not a 1 in front of that 4 on the quarterback's jersey? That's not Brad Johnson back there? That wasn't Artose Pinner blowing blitz pickups? Not Troy Williamson and Travis Taylor running crazy routes? Wait, Jared Allen is white? So, that's NOT Erasmus James that's totally invisible out there? Or Kenechi Udeze? Could've fooled me. Last night was pulled straight out of

Is This Really Happening?

2010-10-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

First, Bill Simmons accidentally tweets something in public that he meant to be a direct message to someone, presumably a Pats outsider. "Rumors swirling about a Pats-Minny trade for Randy Moss." Initial reaction: Not this again. WTF would Simmons know? Why would the Pats get rid of him NOW? Why would they risk pissing off Tom Brady again when they've had a history of giving away his

Throwbacks: 1987 NFC Divisional Playoffs, Minnesota at San Francisco

2010-10-03T11:05:00.001-07:00

No Vikings game this week? No problem.Minnesota Vikings 5 Greatest Games DVD set just came out a couple weeks ago. Despite the disappointing lineup of games (2008 Week 17 vs. the Giants backups?? A Wildcard win against the Cowboys in '99?? Where's the MNF against GB in '98, dammit!! Where are the games from the 70s!!) there is one game in particular that makes this worth every cent... the

Sunday Night Third-String QB: Total Recall, NFL Style

2010-09-27T06:00:00.001-07:00

After watching Total Recall for the 497th time this weekend, I felt it would be apt to recast the movie with NFL teams based on how they've looked so far this season. If you haven't seen Total Recall, go! GO! NOW-UH! GET DIS PEOPLE DA AIR-UH! Midget Hooker - The plucky, likable undersized/undermanned underdog in the movie has got to be the Kansas City Chiefs. Sure it's unlikely they'll

Panic?

2010-09-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

I've never fully understood what it mean for a sports fan to "panic" about one's team. "Is it time to panic?" If it is, what do I do? Jump up and down limp wristed like my three-year-old nephew? Wet my pants? Take a dump in Ragnar's horn?Whatever the correct choice may be, it's pretty clear that 2009 is over, and that relying on a soon-to-be 41 year old QB to not look old and out of it was a

Saints Over Vikes Not So Automatic

2010-09-07T13:37:00.001-07:00

Everybody, and I mean everybody, is picking the Saints over the Vikings. The raw emotion of last year's NFC title game is gone, so with the season opener upon is, it's time to take a closer look at the box score the last time these teams met. What you'll find may startle you.Drew Brees was only 17 of 31 for 197 yards. He did throw for 3 TDs. The Saints as a team ran for only 69 yards.Adrian

60 for 60 Ballpark Reviews: Miller Park

2010-08-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to the my new ongoing series "60 for 60", where I review 60 ballparks in 60 years. I have no particular schedule to review any particular ballpark, just expect some content here and there in the next 60 years. Or maybe I won't live that long, or maybe I won't get to see any other ballpark so I end up reviewing Target Field 58 times. Whatever.Anyway, let's christen this series

Some Guy's Long and Unnecessary 2010 NFL Preview

2010-08-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

Burning questions heading into the 2010 season...(First, thanks are in order to the 2010 Football Outsiders Almanac, which is so awesome I've nearly read it cover to cover. Get this thing if you're a football nerd, it's absolutely worth it.)Will the "Can Carson Palmer ever return to his old form" question ever go away?How long has this been asked now, 4 years? 5 years? This isn't even a

What the Hell Am I Doing in Japan?

2010-07-12T18:41:00.001-07:00

A couple months ago, I tagged along with my friend and visited Japan for about 10 days. My friend is kind of a special case, which led to an interesting experience and a surreal atmosphere. The best way to explain how it was for me is to write a short story, interspersed with random pictures. This is a recollection of my first night there.