If you're on Brett Favre's side, he's a victim of the eager to exaggerate, blood-thirsty sports media. Hey, he's just a down-home, folksy guy from Kiln, Mississippi who loves his lawn mower and pick-up football games in dirt patches with a bunch of manly men like those Wrangler commercials. (He throws off his back foot because he's so damn comfortable.) He can't control this media frenzy! It's not his fault! He just can't make up his mind! As Jon Lovitz would say, is that so wroooong?
Suffice it to say, Brett Favre's side is a lonely one. He's now Roger-Clemens-ized himself - he's turned himself into a mercenary. He has no fans - Packers fans feel betrayed by him, Jets fans have had their fill of him, Vikings fans are already tired of him. Some people roll their eyes when his name is mentioned, some people scream and run in the other direction, some people cover their ears and shout "I'm not listeninnnnggg!!" over and over. That last one is what I've been doing all day.
The guy has become impossible to root for, regardless if he plays for my team or not. But we kinda need him. Or maybe we don't. I've talked myself into so many different directions that I've gotten two dozen prescriptions of Xanax and Percocet. Wait, I can't make painkiller jokes, he's our quarterback now. Or is he? I think my mind is bleeding.
My goal throughout my sports fan life is to grow more and more cultured. I want to experience everything: the good, the bad, the amazing, the annoying, the insane, the mundane. In a way, this Favre thing over the past few months has been a little of all those things. It's as unique as it gets. Vikings fans were so desperate for a quarterback, a better option than Tarsagis Rosenjack, that we had no choice but to follow along this annoying, insane, mundane path. The payoff would be worth it. Right?
I have no idea anymore. I'm just so exhausted of this whole thing. The season feels like it's never going to actually start. In fact, I have a confession: this is the least I've ever looked forward to an upcoming Vikings season that I can remember.
There's a lot of reasons for that, but the primary one is Favre. Is it silly to let one guy ruin the football season for me before it starts? Yeah probably. But can you blame me? Packers fans understand. Jets fans probably understand too.
Even if the Favre signing thing is a reality, the expectations for the season would suddenly be so outrageous that anything less than a Super Bowl would be considered a disaster. He's MARGINALLY better than Rosenfels or Jackson. Marginally. 84 interceptions in 4 years. He's 40 years old. He sucked last year when the weather got cold. Oh, and Brad Childress is still the head coach.
After the 1998 NFC title game, I remember my dad saying, "Part of me is glad they lost. I couldn't stand the hype anymore." I thought that was preposterous at the time, but now I know how he felt. Maybe it's more of a statement towards the 24/7 media culture, towards the fact that there's no such thing as an offseason anymore, but this hasn't been any fun. When is it going to be fun again?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Nicki Puntolbersilla
(I'll write about the Favre thing some other time. I'm sick of it, everyone's sick of it, and the silver lining is that it's one step closer to Brad Childress being fired. Let's move on to more aggravating issues.)
I know I've already written about this, but we're past the point where it can be overstated: DEAR GOD CAN WE PLEASE GET A MIDDLE INFIELDER?!?
It's been well documented how atrocious Nick Punto, Matt Tolbert and Alexi Casilla have been through 101 games this year, but... what if we combined their powers to build a SUPER Twins infielder, a conglomerate of suck. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Sultan of Scrappiness, General Get-After-It... Nicki Puntolbersilla!
491 spell-binding at-bats produced...
92 hits!
15 extra-base hits!
2 home runs!
41 RBI!
69 walks!
92 strikeouts!
A .187 batting average with a .281 on-base percentage!
(By the way, it is astounding to me that Casilla was the guy that broke up Buehrle's bid for a 2nd perfect game in a row last night. That's why baseball's awesome.)
Throw in an average OPS+ of 40 between all three, and you have by far the worst middle infielder this side of Tony Pena Jr. The Twins would be better off if they dragged Steve Lombardozzi out of retirement. Speaking of which...
Looking up those guys' stats made me realize something. The Twins haven't developed an even passable middle infielder that stuck around longer than one season since Chuck Knoblauch and Pat Meares were the everyday starters in 1997. And just to clear things up a bit, these guys were not products of the Twins farm system: Christian Guzman, Luis Castillo, Brent Gates, Brendan Harris, Juan Castro, Jay Canizaro, Augie Ojeda, and Adam Everett. All of those guys were clearly way too good (read: Major League average) to be from the Twins organization. Except Jay Canizaro. He could've fooled me.
(I know Punto also isn't a product of the Twins system, but he might as well be, since he fits exactly what they're apparently looking for.)
Todd Walker - It seems really weird that the Twins would use a 1st round draft pick on a 2nd baseman, but they did in 1994. Walker produced in his first chance to be the everyday starter in 1998, but petered out a bit the next season as every single statistical category dropped off somewhat. I remember there being grumblings at the time that Walker was hard to work with because he didn't fit the "Twins way". He was traded in 2000 to make room for... well, no one. He had a decent journeyman career and put up some okay numbers for the Cubs.
Denny Hocking - Taken in the 52nd round of the 1989 draft. I know every joke has been made about how many rounds the MLB draft has, but dear god, 52 rounds?!? Who else was drafted, the kid from "Rookie of the Year"? Anyway, he was a career utility player who hit .257/.316/.359 (batting average/on-base/slugging) when he had at least 200 plate appearances. I would kill for that now. But still, I doubt he would've started for any team except the total dregs of the league (which the Twins were at that time).
Alex Prieto - Yeah, not much to see here.
Cleatus Davidson - Who?
Luis Rivas - Between 2001 and 2005, Tom Powers wrote about 174 columns about "when it's going to click for Rivas." Suffice to say, it never really did. Again, he was better than what the Twins have now, but I don't see him starting for very many other teams even in his better years.
Luis Rodriguez - The Latino Denny Hocking.
Jason Bartlett - Traded to the Twins as a AA prospect so its a stretch to include him here, but I just wanted to be the 979,000 person to point out how utterly foolish it was of the Twins to give up on him so quickly. "Whoa whoa whoa, wait a sec, we can't have a shortstop hitting .265, that's CRAZY!"
Tommy Watkins - Here's a sampling of what middle infielders the Twins have in Rochester!
Matt Tolbert and Alexi Casilla - See beginning of column.
The usually reliable Aaron Gleeman makes a "Top 40 Twins prospects" list every offseason. Shockingly, his 2009 list features two second baseman: Reggie Williams and Steve Singleton. Okay, they're #33 and #36 on the list, but still. It's too early to tell with Williams, but Singleton has struggled to get out of Single A and appears to be on par with the above guys I've listed. That's a relief.
Evidently, it's not the "Twins way" to bother developing middle infielders. Nicki Puntolbersilla is proof of when this method goes terribly wrong.
I know I've already written about this, but we're past the point where it can be overstated: DEAR GOD CAN WE PLEASE GET A MIDDLE INFIELDER?!?
It's been well documented how atrocious Nick Punto, Matt Tolbert and Alexi Casilla have been through 101 games this year, but... what if we combined their powers to build a SUPER Twins infielder, a conglomerate of suck. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the Sultan of Scrappiness, General Get-After-It... Nicki Puntolbersilla!
491 spell-binding at-bats produced...
92 hits!
15 extra-base hits!
2 home runs!
41 RBI!
69 walks!
92 strikeouts!
A .187 batting average with a .281 on-base percentage!
(By the way, it is astounding to me that Casilla was the guy that broke up Buehrle's bid for a 2nd perfect game in a row last night. That's why baseball's awesome.)
Throw in an average OPS+ of 40 between all three, and you have by far the worst middle infielder this side of Tony Pena Jr. The Twins would be better off if they dragged Steve Lombardozzi out of retirement. Speaking of which...
Looking up those guys' stats made me realize something. The Twins haven't developed an even passable middle infielder that stuck around longer than one season since Chuck Knoblauch and Pat Meares were the everyday starters in 1997. And just to clear things up a bit, these guys were not products of the Twins farm system: Christian Guzman, Luis Castillo, Brent Gates, Brendan Harris, Juan Castro, Jay Canizaro, Augie Ojeda, and Adam Everett. All of those guys were clearly way too good (read: Major League average) to be from the Twins organization. Except Jay Canizaro. He could've fooled me.
(I know Punto also isn't a product of the Twins system, but he might as well be, since he fits exactly what they're apparently looking for.)
Todd Walker - It seems really weird that the Twins would use a 1st round draft pick on a 2nd baseman, but they did in 1994. Walker produced in his first chance to be the everyday starter in 1998, but petered out a bit the next season as every single statistical category dropped off somewhat. I remember there being grumblings at the time that Walker was hard to work with because he didn't fit the "Twins way". He was traded in 2000 to make room for... well, no one. He had a decent journeyman career and put up some okay numbers for the Cubs.
Denny Hocking - Taken in the 52nd round of the 1989 draft. I know every joke has been made about how many rounds the MLB draft has, but dear god, 52 rounds?!? Who else was drafted, the kid from "Rookie of the Year"? Anyway, he was a career utility player who hit .257/.316/.359 (batting average/on-base/slugging) when he had at least 200 plate appearances. I would kill for that now. But still, I doubt he would've started for any team except the total dregs of the league (which the Twins were at that time).
Alex Prieto - Yeah, not much to see here.
Cleatus Davidson - Who?
Luis Rivas - Between 2001 and 2005, Tom Powers wrote about 174 columns about "when it's going to click for Rivas." Suffice to say, it never really did. Again, he was better than what the Twins have now, but I don't see him starting for very many other teams even in his better years.
Luis Rodriguez - The Latino Denny Hocking.
Jason Bartlett - Traded to the Twins as a AA prospect so its a stretch to include him here, but I just wanted to be the 979,000 person to point out how utterly foolish it was of the Twins to give up on him so quickly. "Whoa whoa whoa, wait a sec, we can't have a shortstop hitting .265, that's CRAZY!"
Tommy Watkins - Here's a sampling of what middle infielders the Twins have in Rochester!
Matt Tolbert and Alexi Casilla - See beginning of column.
The usually reliable Aaron Gleeman makes a "Top 40 Twins prospects" list every offseason. Shockingly, his 2009 list features two second baseman: Reggie Williams and Steve Singleton. Okay, they're #33 and #36 on the list, but still. It's too early to tell with Williams, but Singleton has struggled to get out of Single A and appears to be on par with the above guys I've listed. That's a relief.
Evidently, it's not the "Twins way" to bother developing middle infielders. Nicki Puntolbersilla is proof of when this method goes terribly wrong.
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