Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sorry, a Win is Not Always a Win

The Vikings evidently weren't happy with just taking a big dump in the middle of the field on Sunday. They also went out of their way to prove an ancient cliche completely wrong.

"A win is a win," Jared Allen said after yesterday's cover-your-eyes awful performance yesterday.

Calling yesterday's game against Detroit a win is like winning a tug-of-war against a guy that has muscle dystrophy. And taking 60 long, tough, unbearable minutes to do it. Let's not fool ourselves though - this isn't the first time a win was not just a win.

In Week 5 against New Orleans, the Vikings were privy to four of the luckiest turnovers you'll ever see. A blocked field goal that hops right into Antoine Winfield's hands as he's coming around the edge. A sack which led Drew Brees to practically hand the ball to Winfield. A Reggie Bush fumble that was preceded by an obvious facemask penalty that wasn't called. A ridiculous interception that somehow managed to not hit the ground and land on Ben Leber instead. On top of all that, the Vikings turned the ball over exactly zero times.

The game played out like a bad British comedy sketch.
Saints: "I really don't want this win and I suggest that you take it."
Vikings: "Me?? What am I supposed to do with it?"
Saints: "No, really, I insist."
Vikings: "Now now, lets not be hasty. Let's think this over a bit."
Saints: "No, really, there's not much to think about. I want you to have it. As a gift."
Vikings: "...."
Saints: "...."
Vikings: "....are you sure?"

The writing was on the wall for Childress after the Week 2 disaster against Indy. Despite the win yesterday against Detroit, that writing is now lit up as a neon sign. With arrows pointing at it. The past two weeks have served as blatant as examples of winning despite your head coach that anyone has ever seen since the end of the Mike Tice era.

In the middle of last season, during one of Adrian Peterson's electric performances, I and many other Vikings fans had a "Eureka!" moment - the Vikings were fun to watch again. Before last season, I wrote that I was very worried that the Vikings were so unbearably boring that my apathy would eventually conquer any and all fandom I could muster for them. But last season those fears subsided, because we had our first offensive superstar, our first home run threat since Randy Moss.

Well, Childress must've gotten that memo, because he's even rendered AD almost useless. He's demonstrated that his offensive philosophy is to practice about 8 painstakingly basic plays on offense and hope to "out-execute" the other team. So now we've got AD running the same two off-tackle plays, one after the other. Last I checked, it isn't 1986 anymore. And we're not playing against Bloomington Jefferson. If Childress can't figure that out and can't start playing to the strengths of his personnel, he is finished.

And it couldn't come soon enough, if you ask me. After all, a firing is always a firing.

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