Tuesday, August 18, 2009

To Favre or Not to Favre

If you're on Brett Favre's side, he's a victim of the eager to exaggerate, blood-thirsty sports media. Hey, he's just a down-home, folksy guy from Kiln, Mississippi who loves his lawn mower and pick-up football games in dirt patches with a bunch of manly men like those Wrangler commercials. (He throws off his back foot because he's so damn comfortable.) He can't control this media frenzy! It's not his fault! He just can't make up his mind! As Jon Lovitz would say, is that so wroooong?

Suffice it to say, Brett Favre's side is a lonely one. He's now Roger-Clemens-ized himself - he's turned himself into a mercenary. He has no fans - Packers fans feel betrayed by him, Jets fans have had their fill of him, Vikings fans are already tired of him. Some people roll their eyes when his name is mentioned, some people scream and run in the other direction, some people cover their ears and shout "I'm not listeninnnnggg!!" over and over. That last one is what I've been doing all day.

The guy has become impossible to root for, regardless if he plays for my team or not. But we kinda need him. Or maybe we don't. I've talked myself into so many different directions that I've gotten two dozen prescriptions of Xanax and Percocet. Wait, I can't make painkiller jokes, he's our quarterback now. Or is he? I think my mind is bleeding.

My goal throughout my sports fan life is to grow more and more cultured. I want to experience everything: the good, the bad, the amazing, the annoying, the insane, the mundane. In a way, this Favre thing over the past few months has been a little of all those things. It's as unique as it gets. Vikings fans were so desperate for a quarterback, a better option than Tarsagis Rosenjack, that we had no choice but to follow along this annoying, insane, mundane path. The payoff would be worth it. Right?

I have no idea anymore. I'm just so exhausted of this whole thing. The season feels like it's never going to actually start. In fact, I have a confession: this is the least I've ever looked forward to an upcoming Vikings season that I can remember.

There's a lot of reasons for that, but the primary one is Favre. Is it silly to let one guy ruin the football season for me before it starts? Yeah probably. But can you blame me? Packers fans understand. Jets fans probably understand too.

Even if the Favre signing thing is a reality, the expectations for the season would suddenly be so outrageous that anything less than a Super Bowl would be considered a disaster. He's MARGINALLY better than Rosenfels or Jackson. Marginally. 84 interceptions in 4 years. He's 40 years old. He sucked last year when the weather got cold. Oh, and Brad Childress is still the head coach.

After the 1998 NFC title game, I remember my dad saying, "Part of me is glad they lost. I couldn't stand the hype anymore." I thought that was preposterous at the time, but now I know how he felt. Maybe it's more of a statement towards the 24/7 media culture, towards the fact that there's no such thing as an offseason anymore, but this hasn't been any fun. When is it going to be fun again?

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